The Way Christmas Should Be
Christmas is supposed to be a time holidays, laughter, unadulterated joy, and of course giving. The advertising tells us that this is so.
Especially the last aspect of that sentence; give, and when you are finished giving, give some more.
For so many ADDers, money is a mysterious commodity, it seems to disappear as soon as it has arrived, and we usually have no idea where it´s gone!
Any joy that is felt is quickly gone. Laughter is long and loud when the beer and wine is flowing, but therein lies another danger.
Inhibitions and tongue-control are loosened as the stress diminishes, and then BAM!&$#@
The peace is shattered, things are said that are not really meant, the desire to inflict pain takes over, and there goes the holiday. I have some ideas that you can use to give yourselves a good chance of a happy time - whatever happy may mean to you.
Firstly, some prevention. Write to family who you are going to spend time with and ask - use ‟I” messages - that past and future points of contention be avoided at all costs. I suggest you don´t give examples, just talk generally.
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- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry
Avoid A Barren Festive Season - Prioritize
South African schools close in the next couple of weeks.
In 22 days time Santa Claus, or Father Christmas, or whatever name you assign him in your house, will be sliding down chimneys, or coming through an open window, carefully placing the presents under the twinkling Christmas Tree which is all dressed up to please every toddlers eye, then he gratefully eats the sweets or chocolates that your excited children had set out for the rotund ‟sack man.”
That´s the way it should be.
But, in so many families where there is ADHD, this is a time of dread, as the questions about what should be done, but probably won´t be done, what presents should be bought, but due to not knowing how much we money we have (I don´t do budgets, it takes too much time you know), we spend rashly on the most important people first and when the first card is declined, the presents decline steeply in price.
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- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry
Coming Up To Christmas:Avoiding Unpleasantness
We all have different views on Christmas time. The month of December is a time of bonuses, of spending on the feasts to come, and of course the buying of gifts for family, and even friends.
From every written page, billboard, TV screen and radio channel we are bombarded with well-meaning - but trite - words exhorting us to be good to others, to do everything with joy, be merry, experience the magic of Christmas, and so on.
It is also a time for family. I mean extended family, the grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins that you saw last Christmas, and that wasn´t too pleasant.
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- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry
The Role Players in ADHD Diagnosis and Management
I belong to a couple of Social Media ADHD groups. At least 85% of the comments and questions are about ADHD medication. These questions are mostly from Moms struggling to cope with their children who have been diagnosed with ADHD.
Understandably, they are terrified of giving their children ADHD medication because it is a Schedule 6 drug and the prescription is only given for 30 days at a time. The drugs are also very expensive and can only be prescribed by a psychiatrist, neurologist, paediatrician and GPs who have an extensive interest and knowledge about ADHD.
According to Statistics South Africa, only 15% of South Africans have medical aid. That is 3 out of 20 South Africans. Even those who do have medical aid, often have limited or no cover for ADHD medication and visits to specialists.
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- Written by: Pat Pughe-Parry
Read more: The Role Players in ADHD Diagnosis and Management
Learning by Rote
Do children still need to learn their number bonds and tables by rote?
As an elderly person with ADHD I am feeling rather conflicted about a conversation I had with a very lively 76 year old, who still does relief teaching to Junior Primary children.
For privacy purposes I will call her Helen. She has just completed a 3 month relief posting at a private school where the majority of the grade 3 children do not have English as their mother tongue.
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- Written by: Pat Pughe-Parry
If university is not for you
What do you do if you have your heart set on your teen going to university when they finish matric, but she/he does not have good enough grades, or does not want to go to university?
I saw this anonymous post on Facebook recently and was impressed by all the thoughtful suggestions.
"My son is not doing well enough to be accepted into university. Not due to intelligence but due to laziness. (It’s not for lack of trying and parenting before anyone gets on that bandwagon!)
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- Written by: Pat Pughe-Parry
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