Photo by Sora Shimazaki on PexelsIntegrity is difficult to write about without sounding judgemental.

I have an uncompromising hatred of judgementalism in any form – especially the way we as ADDers are (mis)judged.

"So why am I writing about integrity," I hear your peeved question?

The reason is not quick or short, but read on please, it is an interesting answer that will bring some clarity.

ADDers often find it exceedingly difficult to act as someone with integrity, even though we can usually be described as "people of integrity."

Integrity means a few things, but probably the most important concept is that of virtue. A virtue is a useful quality. And a quality is part of a person's character.

If we look at the word quality as an adjective, it means that someone or something is superior compared to someone or something else.

Integrity is usually described in human terms as having strong moral principles and being honest. While honesty is usually situational – "he lied about being there," for instance, integrity needs more time and experience of a person before you can say that they are a person of integrity or not.

A person who has integrity is someone who is trustworthy. Trustworthy people are difficult to find in the fast-moving world we live in where people are judged by their assets rather than by their integrity and trustworthiness.

Reading about the actions of billionaires in the world today makes it clear that wealth and integrity are not natural or comfortable bedfellows.

Back to integrity and ADDers. Why do we so often find it difficult to act with integrity?

Three little words. Low. Self. Esteem.Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Low self-esteem is to my mind the most damaging consequence of untreated ADHD.

Low self-esteem frequently leads ADDers to decisions based on whether people will like us, sort of, "what do they expect or want me to say?"

Low self-esteem commands enough power to trample all over our integrity, our craving to be liked, to be part of the herd, to be respected, and to be loved is so strong that we will almost do or say anything.

This in turn makes us feel guilty because we 'know' that we have not been true to ourselves and our inherent beliefs.

Ignoring our integrity can start as soon as our tween and teen years, even earlier if parenting is poor or non-existent.

This manifests itself in some ordinary ways.

Substance addiction is probably the most common as it alters your state of mind.

Sleeping around means "love and like" for the female, and commands "respect" for males.

The two consequences I have written about above can have dire life-long consequences in terms of career, relationships, lifestyle and reputation. Addiction can even be fatal.

Other detrimental consequences of low self-esteem (there are no positive consequences) are equally dystopian. Joining up with illegal gangs, becoming homeless, or living a life working in the wrong career, and ultimately living a life of morbid deprivation and loneliness.

Integrity is a learnt quality. A child watching his parents act with integrity is unmatched as a daily lesson.

Doing something with integrity only because it is the right thing to do takes a certain bravery.

When a teenager does something illegal and there is damage to people or property, parents with integrity will report the child to the authorities.

Integrity understands that there "must" be consequences for actions. Low self-esteem says the consequences may be worth it!